Welcome to Friday Fudge, where we bring you all the best motorcycle content of the Internet. Well, not actually the best, more the weirdest, and some of it is definitely the worst. You decide.
Jump for it
Here in Canada, we just don’t see a lot of exciting motorcycle daredevil action, so you know we were interested when we heard a promoter’s suggestion for White Rock, BC. When the town re-opens its pier (seen above, in happier days) after repairing storm damage, Brooke Colby is suggesting they mark the event with a massive motorcycle jump.
The CBC reports Colby’s idea was mentioned at a city council meeting last month, as the town’s leaders discussed the plan for repairing a hole in the pier that was torn open during a windstorm. The roughly 120-foot gap is a headache for locals, but not for Colby. He sees it as an opportunity: he figures one of the stuntmen from his production company, who even rides bikes owned by Evel Knievel, could make a motorcycle jump, and boost traffic at local businesses with all the attention.
And hey, maybe he’s right! We’re sure the jump would make it into the news, although we’re guessing the result might go straight to Friday Fudge.
Of course, like every good moto-stunt, the idea sounded really crazy at first, an actual jump across the wharf gap, but Colby later changed his plan to a simpler jump on a nearby beach. Hrm. Could this be Canada’s kinder, gentler version of Evel Knievel’s Snake River Canyon disappointment? Would what sounded like a crazy idea end in lame failure? That would be the Canadian way, after all.
We’ve often run stories of motorcycle-riding baddies who come to sticky ends, but this one from Bangkok might be one of the most twisted yet. The Nation/Asia News Network is reporting the death of an unidentified suspected thief, who crashed into a tree while supposedly fleeing the scene of his crimes. It seems people heard some motorcycle hoonery late at night, then a crash, and were mystified as to what happened. Investigation turned up a dead rider, who’d hit a tree. But why was he speeding?
Police put the blame on “two used items of pink lingerie” they found in his pocket, saying this was a underwear thief who crashed while making his escape. If only he’d heeded Gilette’s advice to avoid toxic masculinity! In any case, police say perverted small-time crimes like this are often the precursor to much more serious and dangerous deviancy, so maybe it’s a good thing this man’s career as a panty thief was so … brief.
What’s the ultimate lazy man’s crime? A police standoff in your home, that’s what, because you don’t even have to leave the house. And if you get really lucky, you’ll get sentenced to house arrest, so you can even serve your sentence at home!
Perhaps that’s what a man in Houston, Texas, was thinking when he recently decided to threaten his girlfriend with a knife, and then blockaded himself inside when the police came along to apprehend him. But the fun apparently ran out, as police said he eventually started playing loud music (the horror!) and riding his motorcycle around inside the house. Maybe he wanted one last ride before he was hauled away? Or maybe, he wanted to expand his stay-at-home criminality, going from simply threatening his girlfriend to starting a homebound biker gang?
Police eventually got to him though, despite the terrifying threat posed by the loud music, as the man ended up leaving his house. Maybe the exhaust fumes got to him? He was popped a couple of times with beanbag shotgun rounds as he left the house, which should hopefully teach him to play nice in the future, instead of threatening people with knives.
What do you do when you want to ride motocross, but the only bike you have is a Kawasaki Ninja 250? Simple: you take it to the track, and film yourself hitting some jumps. Safe to say, you can put this video into the file of Really Bad Ideas, though the rider seems to enjoy himself.
The first 3 minutes and 19 seconds are filmed from the rider’s helmet, while the next three minutes are filmed by an onlooker. The final few minutes are first-person again, as the rider tries to find out why he was kicked off the track. I’m sure we could tell him without even watching this footage.
Ah, the usual mid-winter maintenance question: Where to work on the bike? The unheated garden shed, or the nice warm house? Brit rider Peter Biggs was confronted with this scenario, and decided he’d work on his motorcycle in his home’s attached garage. Metro News reports Biggs was draining fuel from his bike’s gas tank when he managed to set it on fire. Alas, the fire then spread, first to the garage, then to much of the rest of the house, which Biggs and his family had recently completed renovating.
Speaking of his family, they were out shopping when this all happened, and Biggs said his wife “was never a lover of my bike anyway.” We’re guessing that now, after six fire engines knocked down the blaze, her heart still hasn’t warmed up to his hobby.