Friday the 13th Fudge

Greetings, amigos!

Once again, it’s Friday the 13th, the unluckiest day of the year (or so we’re told). So here you go — we’ve lined up a selection of bad-luck bikers from the Internet, riders who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, or who overestimated their skill, or both. 

Remember, be careful out there today, especially if you see a black cat, or accidentally ride under a ladder, or spill the salt, or …

Stunted growth

There’s nothing quite like a stunt competition to show off your mad skills. All that time spent practising stoppies in empty parking lots finally has value! Now, adoring crowds will see your razor-sharp control! The fans will go wild! The girls will throw themselves at you! A Red Bull sponsorship is just around the corner! Fame! Fortune! … Wait … uh-oh … nope, back to practice. And icing your testicles, thanks to that front wheel that did a number on your family jewels, while your riderless motorcycle was dancing on top of you.

Work stoppage

Speaking of stoppie fails: You know what’s really cool? A motorcycle parade, where you and your crew take over the city streets riding your pimped-out sportbikes with deadly precision. Boy, look how cool you are, rolling through the city without a care. You’re cool as ice. Time to pull a stoppie to show your impressive control. Whoops! Later, one of your buddies impresses with a wheelie, except whoops again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOZvVdcPgxQ

Air delivery

You gotta love Australia, a country that lets its mailmen, aka “Posties,” ride around delivering letters on motorcycles. Although, we doubt that hooning over a homemade jump to impress the neighbourhood kids is probably part of the official job description.

Wretched wrenching

And here’s a gem from Russia: a two-man stunt team that appears to have just been released from either military service, or a penitentiary (or maybe the town barber has a really basic skill set?). They’re just warming up for their set when disaster strikes. Time to find a new mechanic, or maybe buy a motorcycle that wasn’t made on an Eastern Bloc assembly line.

Truck stop

Here’s a way to kill an afternoon. Go on YouTube, and search “motorcycle loading truck fails.” There are hundreds, maybe thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of videos of hapless chumps doing the same thing: trying to load a motorcycle into a pickup truck, and failing miserably. To be honest, this guy fares better than a lot of them, not that that’s saying much.

Scooter trash

Ah, a nice safe ride with your friends, aboard your non-threatening Vespas. What could go wrong? Plenty, apparently, starting with an inability to avoid massive roadworks signs. Don’t worry, buddy, chicks dig scars anyway, and your friend is rushing on his way to help you. Whoops, no he isn’t!