Breaking News: AutoTRADER’s Jacob Black a squid?

Details are sketchy, but Canada Moto Guide has learned that Jacob Black, the motorcycling editor of AutoTRADER.ca, was taken into custody this week by International Motorcycle Competency Police.

“We cannot confirm or deny that charges have been laid against Mr. Black,” said IMC Const. I. P. Knightly. “We can confirm Mr. Black was interviewed by our task force. There was some crying involved. There will be a statement in due course.”

When IMC Police inevitably charge Black, it’s believed it will be for the little-known crime of “impersonating a competent motorcyclist.”

This charge was established years ago when bike gangs were in their heyday. Police wanted a reason to pull over the riders and question them, but had no reason to do so if their bikes were legal and well-maintained. The so-called “Squid Law” recognized that insufficient acceleration, poor leaning abilities, and a bad choice of protective clothing could be dangerous to both the rider and the image of the lifestyle.

A source close to Black confirmed to CMG that Black was seen standing next to Kawasaki’s new Ninja 300, and was heard to say: “I don’t think I should be near this bike – I’m really not very good at riding at all, and I think it’s too powerful for me.” He then mounted the motorcycle and rode away anyway, quite slowly and very wobbly. Police pulled him over in the parking lot of a nearby Babies ‘R’ Us.

Black should be released in time to race as scheduled this weekend at Canadian Tire Motorsport Park, where he’s on the grid of the Ninja 300 Series. It’s believed he’ll probably try to use the impending charge as an excuse to back out, knowing he’ll be beaten by CMG’s JP Schroeder.

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