Australian officials are launching a battle against bikers, or bikies, as they’re known down under. Apparently, biker violence has been on the increase lately, and authorities want to nip it in the bud. So far, their campaign has had very mixed results.
It started off very auspiciously, with all sorts of tough talk. Authorities had all sorts of ingenious plans to deal with the crims, ranging from special supertough prisons designed specifically for the two-wheeled terrorists, to even requiring jailed bikies wear pink underwear. No, we are not making this up. The government even threatened to crush the motorcycles of convicted bikers. That makes sense, right? After all, it’s a known fact that outlaw bikers will be unable to commit crimes if they don’t have their motorcycles … or not.
Alas, the bad cop/bad cop routine hasn’t worked out so well in real life, with reports that police have actually had trouble telling the real bad guys apart from the fake ones, with police apparently suspicious of at least one character they found roaming around in a Sons of Anarchy T-shirt. Sadly, it doesn’t sound like they threw him in a cold cell for the night.
Lane-splitting is a great idea, unless you decide to start hopping sidewalks on a scooter. That’s when things get messy.
Having a gas
Fact: Cows pass gas. A lot of it. In fact, bovine methane emissions have been blamed for global warming. So, what to do about this problem?
Some Argentinian scientists have come up with an answer to this puzzler. They’ve attached a system of tubes to a cow’s digestive system that taps off methane gas, to be used later. They claim they can get enough gas from a cow in a day to power a refrigerator for 24 hours. If that sounds like the sort of hideous, twisted science that B-films are made of, we’d agree. It’s not surprising though, considering how many Nazi scientists fled to the country, post-WWII. It sounds like something straight from Return to Castle Wolfenstein, or Indiana Jones …
But, as terrifying as this unholy mixture of animal and machine is, we’ve thought of a practical use for the technology. You know all those photos that come from the developing world, showing farmers hauling around their livestock by motorcycle? Well, now those farmers could use this methane system to use that livestock to power their vehicles! If anyone actually designs this and wins a Nobel Prize, please remember us when it comes time to cash the prize cheque.
It’s easy to see how this started. Pizza guy decides there’s no better way to impress sorority girls while delivering a pepperoni pie, than an impressive stoppie. Alas, his technique is a bit lacking.
They say, it’s a “motorbike in the sky.” We say, what could possibly go wrong? We’re sure we’ll see this invention again in Friday Fudge.
Grab and go
Crime: Who’s got time for that? Not Sgt. Songwut Noosuk. The Thai cop saw a pursesnatching go down while out patrolling around on his motorcycle, and did the first thing that came to mind; he drove his motorcycle into the two criminals.
Alas, results were not as he hoped; the police spokesman said “Unfortunately, Sgt Songwut fell off his bike and the two men rode off.” The courageous (but not necessarily smart) cop also busted his collarbone in the process, although the police department gave him a cash reward for his bravery. We’re wondering just how stupid you’d have to get before the police chief told you to smarten up? If crashing your bike and injuring yourself gets you extra pay in Thailand, that’s where Barney Fife should have pursued his law enforcement career.
Meanwhile, another Thai bagsnatcher tried a classic ploy: Take someone else’s vehicle, and go commit a dastardly deed. That way, when the police trace your license plate, there’s no trail leading them back to you. And it can be a very effective trick, as long as you steal the motorcycle from a complete stranger.
A Thai criminal didn’t think that process entirely through when he went on a recent crime spree, though. He had the smarts to go purse-snatching on a borrowed bike; however, he took his girlfriend’s Honda, so police knew exactly where to look after he did the crime.
Or maybe, this was exactly his plan? Was he trying to implicate his girlfriend in the crime, so she’d get sent behind bars for a stretch? Such a scenario is not unthinkable, but if that was his plan, it was still an abject failure, as the 25-year old man still ended up in the slammer.