Welcome to Friday Fudge – a weekly round up of the more ‘unusual’ motorcycle related stories that are just too silly to post on their own, but raise a much bigger chortle when you slap them all together and take the piss.
The Fuzz flubs
The police: Who doesn’t get a warm and fuzzy feeling when they think about these guardians of justice as they uphold truth and justice?
Kris Lech of Scotland doesn’t, that’s who. And who can blame him? After all, the cops sold him a stolen motorcycle, and then took it away from him.
Lech’s bad luck with the bobbies started when he bought a Yamaha DT125 at a police auction for recovered vehicles. He paid 500 pounds for it, then spent 700 pounds restoring it. Then six officers came by his home when he wasn’t around, repo’d the bike, and spent four hours searching the premises for other “stolen materiel,” even though they’d sold him the bike in the first place. They even took the new parts he’d bought for the machine.
It turns out the police computer systems mistakenly sold Lech a bike that was meant to be returned to its owner; blame incompetence, not corruption. They claim they’re going to compensate him for his lost machine; we figure it would have been a lot easier to just not sell it to him in the first place.
Story source: The Scotsman
A cutting-edge tour
You’ve heard of the Long Way Down, but what about the Lawn Way Down?
Believe it or not, that’s the name of a charity run that two barmy blokes are starting this weekend in the U.K.; claiming inspiration from the Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman televised tour, they’re running from John O’Groats to Land’s End – on lawnmowers.
While this sounds like something hatched after consuming a lot of grass, Tony Dwight and Darren Whitehead do have good intentions for their expedition; they’re hoping to raise money for Help for Heroes and Cancer Research UK along the way. And they’re doing the run on road-legal racing lawnmowers, since they both race in that sport – further proof that they’re nuts.
Story source: Motorcycle News
A stretch scooter
Speaking of long things – the builder of the world’s longest motorcycle has done it again.
For reasons unknown (maybe because a backyard builder in Prince Edward Island built a bike that broke his record, unofficially), Colin Furze of the U.K. has upped the ante; his previous record bike was 14 metres long, but his new machine is a whopping 22 metres long, with 25 seats.
Furze cobbled his machine together in his mother’s garden, basing it on a 125cc scooter. He rode it over a mile on an airfield, topping it out at 35 mph. Unsurprisingly, he complained about the heavy steering.
Furze, who also built the world’s fastest mobility scooter, is awaiting Guinness confirmation, but it looks like he’s met the requirements for building the world’s longest bike – especially the stipulation that you’ve gotta be crazy to spend your time doing stuff like this.
The sound of silence
Motorcycle helmets may be loud on the inside, but they can make it quieter for everyone else standing around you.
Court officials in Albany, Georgia, discovered this handy fact last week when faced with a lack of co-operation from one Reginald Smith. Apparently, Smith, a pretty violent crim by the sounds of it, just wouldn’t shut up. So, officials bound him and gagged him – and then stuck a motorcycle helmet on him to further muffle the yelling.
Wait and see if helmet manufacturers catch on to this one. Who knows? Perhaps in the future, Shoei or HJC will offer a unit that can bring relief to parents with whiny children!
Story source: WSFA.com
A troubling case
Here’s another idiot invention for the Fudge file: Supposedly, some dim bulb in the U.S. isn’t happy with his travel luggage. Deciding it’s not enough to have wheels on your luggage to roll it around the airport, this loon has decided to file a patent application for a hybrid suitcase/motorcycle. No need to read that again, you read it right the first time.
And really, what else is there to say about such a crazy idea? No wonder the patent office is so far behind in its work, with wackos like this clogging up the system. And please, if for some reason you decided to go out in the garage now and bolt apehangers onto your Samsonite – please don’t send us the picture. Unless you want to be in Friday Fudge.
Story source: Visordown
A watered-down motorcycle
And in closing, here’s some news from India: Sick of high gas prices, but scared of the electric motorcycle scene? We can’t blame you for being wary of battery bikes’ range restrictions, but a 20-year old from India has a new solution for you; he claims he’s built a bike that runs on water. He claims his water motor offers similar power and acceleration to a gas engine. He also says he got the idea from stories other folks who’d done the same (around here, we call those stories urban legends).
Of course, we haven’t actually seen the water-powered motorcycle yet. And you know what? We bet we never will.
Story source: Times of India