Friday Fudge

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Welcome to Friday Fudge – a weekly round up of the more ‘unusual’ motorcycle related stories that are just too silly to post on their own, but raise a much bigger chortle when you slap them all together and take the piss.

 

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last couple of years (and if you have been, lucky you!), you’ve probably heard of the singer Lady Gaga by now. Why foul the fine web pages of CMG with talk of a pop tart that most of us would rather forget? Well, her latest album, titled Born This Way, has been making some headlines because of its motorcycle-themed cover art. With that in mind, we figured a special Friday Fudge was in order, with a look at some classic motorcycle album art of the past.

They should have titled it Hair Hair Hair.

Girls Girls Girls

First up, Motley Crüe’s Girls Girls Girls album — and with the band’s big, 1980’s hair band hairdos, that’s what they looked like. At least they made up for their feminine hair and makeup by producing an R-rated video of the title song, Girls Girls Girls, that included strip joints, stripper poles and lots of topless girls, girls, girls.

 

A CM400A Hondamatic and flowers on the side of the album cover sure look tough.

Purple Rain

Purple Rain was an epic 1984 film detailing the struggles of a Minneapolis singer battling his way to the top of the music world. That year the star of the film, Prince, also released Purple Rain the album, featuring avante-garde musical styling, risque lyrics and an incredibly lame cover that tried to capitalize on motorcycle coolness. Prince’s attempt to come across as a badass fell flat when you saw he was riding a totally uncool Windjammer-equipped CM400A Hondamatic.

Really not the kind of playmate scenario we had in mind.

At Play with the Playmates

Question: Who were the Playmates? Answer: According to Wikipedia, a vocal band from the 1950s founded in Connecticut, that sang that annoying ‘Beep Beep’ song about the Nash Rambler. Apparently they spent a lot of time touring Canada — did you see them? We doubt, however, that they toured with all three band members on that scooter, as the album cover suggests. That’s just plain naaaaaaaaaasty.

Do you figure this guy gets tailgated?

Shitsville

California-based garage punk band, The Mummies, featured an album cover as repulsive as its chosen title: Shitsville. It’s actually a decent piece of motorcycle album art, picturing an undead rider on an airhead BMW expressing his traffic-induced angst. Awesome! Should The Mummies ever reunite and feel like writing a follow-up to this epic aural journey, we suggest they visit Editor ‘Arris’ homestead in the middle of New Brunswick farmland during manure-spreading season for inspiration.

Coe's outlaw image is somewhat diluted with the reflectors, turn signals and stock mufflers still on the bike.

David Allan Coe Rides Again

David Allan Coe was a member of the outlaw country movement of the 1960s and 1970s. His controversial lyrics have been labelled as racist and misogynistic, but that’s to be expected from a former convict claiming to have been on death row for murdering an inmate. He was also, at one time, a member of the Outlaws motorcycle gang. He even wore the club’s colours on this album cover. We bet his record sales didn’t do too well in Hells Angels turf.

A rocket-powered bike is just the thing for getting home when a ghastly monster is on your heels.

Bat out of Hell

Meatloaf’s best known album features some grim art of motorcycle skulduggery; there’s nothing like a painting of a barbarian biker tearing around a graveyard on an a classic inline-four to boost record sales. At first we wondered why the biker was in such a hurry; he certainly looks tough enough to take on the demonic beast in the background. Then we saw his bike’s lighting — or lack thereof. He’s probably just trying to race home before dark; that horse’s skull probably doesn’t give off much light.

No Transport Canada approval for this bike; that fork is waaay too flexy.

Born This Way

And finally the album that inspired this special edition of Friday Fudge. What on earth was Lady Gaga thinking? The cover art lacks The Mummies’ grim social commentary, the creepy shock value of The Playmates, or the epic Dungeons-and-Dragons-meets-Mad-Max stylings of Meatloaf. Like Meatloaf’s album, this one too has a demonic beast in the artwork, though it probably gives off no more light than that horse’s skull.

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