We’re about to go through some big changes here at CMG. As you may have noticed for the past (almost) 15 years we’ve been hacking it out on this new fangled idea called the Internet. Well, it appears that we may have backed the wrong horse.
With the federal government’s unwavering belief that print will once again reign supreme with the help of large tax dollar subsidies and the undeniable fact that there’s nothing quite like a print mag when you’re sitting on the shitter and fancy something to read, we’ve decided to back a winner and go back into print!
But for all you online addicts, fear thee not as we’ll be going with the latest trend in print-goes-online-without-having-to-reformat-itself and will have a clunky (but impressive to old people) PDF format of CMG that actually makes the sound of a turning page every time you want to read on!
Of course, you’ll have to pay us $20 a year for the privilege, but it also comes with 12 free issues of Inside Motorcycles. Hey, once those government subsidies have covered the staff drink tabs there isn’t a whole lot left for techno-wizardry like this.
But this isn’t all about switching horses. In a shock high court decision last week plucky upstarts Hell For Leather were granted all rights to the Internet, which will now be renamed Hell for Internet. They argued the case that because they were first at every story and everyone else just copied them they should be given exclusive rights to the Internet.
It’s a hard case to argue against, and I have to admit that CMG was really just Hell For Leather with a tricky little piece of software that changed the word "America" to "Canada" in all the articles.
The new print magazine will be called Mojo Bikers Inside Canada and goes on sale today.
Ha, love the first edition cover. Nicely done.
the sad truth is that with the way the subsidies seem to be working, this almost makes sense…. great title too!
Will it be on Kindle?
Great… Now I’ll have to put more shelves up to hold the new paper copy’s…
But I did kinda like having my laptop, uhh… Keeping my lap warm while doing the business…
$20/yr.. Now that’s hilarious…
Congratulations on the launch of your new magazine.
I must say you’re obviously seeing some early success! I went to the local newstand to purcahse a copy and there were none to be had. All sold out I’ll guess! Although Handjob (the guy behind the counter) looked puzzled when I asked if more copies would be arriving soon, I’ll put that down to his recovering from the hundreds of customers who had no doubt just flooded his establishment.
Okay, jokes over – can we go back to talking about Scotch now…?
“As an added bonus, editorials will consist of how much we really don’t like motorcycles and that we all hate our jobs. ”
And, to better serve our readership, road tests will be re-worded manufacturer’s press blurbs. Why waste all that valuable drinking time actually riding the bikes? And like publication that shall remain nameless did, we’ll actually write a complete road test on a motorcycle that wasn’t even in Canada at the time – AS IF WE’D ACTUALLY RIDDEN IT.
What a concept! Yes, we’ll describe the ergonomics, performance and comfort and use pictures from European websites and give ourselves photo credits, even though we’ve never actually laid eyes (or buttocks) on said motorcycle.
As an added bonus, editorials will consist of how much we really don’t like motorcycles and that we all hate our jobs.
April Fools! And yes I require a minimum 4 ply for my delicate derriere. Can’t wait for the scratch and sniff inserts!
Can’t you just “re-issue” the older “Guides” ?
That should satisfy the politicos.
You could then budget for more rounds for the staff and contributors.
I would like to sign up for 10 lifetime subscriptions please. Can you print on soft, quilted, 3-ply paper?