Friday Fudge

Welcome to Friday Fudge, where we bring you all the best motorcycle content of the Internet. Well, not actually the best, more the weirdest, and some of it is definitely the worst. You decide.


Mr. Roboto

What happens to your motorcycle when it’s too old to be of use?

The North American answer is, some grumpy old codger parks it in his back yard, occasionally glancing at it to reminisce about rides in bygone days. If anyone wants parts off it (say, a bobber-building hipster, or a CMG hack trying to piece together a project), they get the bum’s rush, and eventually the whole thing decays into a scabby rust heap.

Not so in Vietnam! Check out the Transformer-style robot in the video here (make sure to click on the YouTube option): It was made from old Honda and Sym parts. A group of programmers and students put it together. Why? Inceptive Mind says they wanted “to create a robot from waste components and spare parts to raise awareness about the risks and disasters of motorbike overload in the city.

Of course, that’s much more of a problem in Vietnam, with its population of six million motorcycles, than it is in Canada. There probably wouldn’t be enough junked Hondas and Syms to build a replica Dalek in Canada, let alone a Transformer.


Getaway ride

If you were to list the most famous prison escapes of the past decade, the motorcycle tunnel escape of drug lord El Chapo would have to be near the top of that list.

Just guessing, but that’s probably where former Colombian congresswoman Aida Merlano got the idea for her own jailbreak, seen in the video above. She didn’t go to the trouble of digging a tunnel; instead, she crawled out a window during a visit to the dentist, where she hopped on to a waiting motorcycle. Or maybe, she didn’t get the idea from El Chapo at all, this was just the only getaway transportation she could afford, now that she no longer controls the public purse?

Regardless, note that the disgraced politico is at least safety-conscious, sort of. We personally would have recommended donning that crash helmet before she half-fell out the window. She’s still on the lam, and there’s a reward of 50 million pesos for her capture, which works out to just under $20,000 CAD. Maybe she’ll turn herself in for the reward, so she can afford a swankier getaway vehicle next time.


Getaway ride, Part 2

Speaking of bike-themed getaways, here’s another that caught our eye, above. These thieves in Dartford, England, took the term “getaway ride” to a whole new level, by involving not just a motorcycle, but also a horse. It’s sort of ingenious, really, using a horse to steal a KTM. If you’re spotted, most people would just assume you were crazy, not a thief.

If the usual leads don’t pan out, we’d suggest raiding the local 4H meetings, or maybe nearby Amish communities.


Does this look like an unlicenced bar to you? It did, to the police anyway. Photo: Provincial Court of Manitoba

Booze cruisers

Over the years, the Hells Angels have dodged a lot of the police interference that’s hurt the club’s rivals. Is it due to police incompetence? A secret deal with law enforcement? Do the Hells Angels just have good lawyers? It depends which conspiracy theory you subscribe to!

Regardless, even the HA eventually draw heat from The Man, as outlaw bikers in Manitoba found out recently. Details have emerged about two Hells Angels clubhouse raids, with three charges handed out afterwards. What were the charges, one wonders? The stereotypical accusations of drugs/prostitution/violence/general mayhem that follow one-percenters around?

Nope! The police instead handed out charges for selling liquor without a licence, says CBC. Apparently, the clubhouses had bars set up inside, but the club’s line was that they weren’t charging set prices for booze. Instead, if you wanted a drink, you paid a “suggested donation.”

Well, that line didn’t fly with the police, who handed out the charges, but seemed unable to find anything else serious enough to slap the Angels with. And yeah, it all sounds silly, sort of like Eliot Ness locking up Al Capone over tax evasion, but get this: the penalty for selling liquor without a licence is as high as $100,000 in Manitoba, or a year in jail. Maybe the RCMP’s tactic isn’t as weak as it sounds? And after this, we’re sure they’re going to start cracking down on high school drinking parties. Think of the revenue they could generate from busting a kegger out in the bush!


Gatecrasher

There’s inspiration for a poem somewhere in this British video, something along the lines of Robert Frost. Two paths in a wood, taking the path less traveled, blah blah blah. We’re not sure what Frost would have said about the crash at the end, but we say: this dude is lucky to escape with a smashed iPhone and (as he puts it) “popped testicles.”


“Dirt bike on steroids”

Plenty of bad decisions have been blamed on alcohol, but in our opinion, not enough bad decisions are blamed on sitting around all winter, indoors, with nothing to do. And when you combine both those factors, that’s when you get a really big mess, like this hybrid superbike/dirt bike from Finland, above. It’s quite possibly the most bonkers offroad bike we’ve ever seen, a maniacal motorcycle that makes the epic KTM Super Enduro R and BMW HP2 look like boring toddler toys. Hats off to the crazies who built it, and to the persons loony enough to ride it. But as it’s in Finland, which has a similar climate to much of Canada, maybe worse, you know what the next logical step for this build is? Ice tires, that’s what!

 

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